


It's always been you.

by saigeissad24



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Iwaizumi Hajime is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Minor Angst, Oblivious Oikawa Tooru, Oisuga as besties, Pinning Iwaizumi Hajime, Suga is Oikawas best friend, a slow burn if you will
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29534706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saigeissad24/pseuds/saigeissad24
Summary: Oikawa was Iwaizumi's best friend for as long as he could remember, he couldn't even think of a time when the setter wasn't at his side. But it was strange when he noticed his feelings toward Oikawa started to change. But that was okay, it wasn't like he liked him or anything.....right?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Introduction

Oikawa. It was him. It was always him. It was him who kept Iwazumi up at night, it was him who Iwazumi would see by his side in the future, and it was him who was by his side from the beginning. 

“ What was this?” he constantly thought to himself. They had been friends forever, so why now would he think of Oikawa when his mother asked about love interest? Why now would he see something in a store and think to himself “ Oikawa would love this” 

He had asked his mother what to do when someone was constantly on his mind. 

“ It’s normal to think about someone often Hajime” she had said. “ I think about you’re Father a lot because I love him, so do you think you may love the person you’re thinking about?” 

Hajime went silent. Love? what was his mother talking about? “ Love as in the way she loved dad? “ he thought to himself. Sure he liked Oikawa, they wouldn’t be friends if he didn’t like him....but he didn’t love Oikawa....right?


	2. Stupid Jokes

After school practice was getting longer and everyone was on edge. The road towards nationals was starting and of course, we were all determined to win, especially our captain.

Oikawa. 

“ Oh come on Iwa just one more set and then I swear I'm done” he whined. I had decided to stay back and practice his sets with him since I also wanted to get some extra spikes in.  
“ No, I’m tired, let's just go home” I sighed. Lately, Oikawa has been staying back to practice almost every day, and if only 2 extra hours made me this tired, I have no idea how he's still standing.  
He stared at me for a second and then sighed “ Fine, but only if you buy us snacks”. He started to put away all the balls and take down the net.  
“ Do you have snack money Oikawa?” I asked him. 

“ Nope” he smiled. “ That's why I requested you to buy them Iwa-chan!”  
I put a hand on my chin and pretended to think. “ Hm making a lot of requests for someone who doesn't have snack money” I quipped. 

He gave me an amused look that then turned into a smug one “ I don't need snack money Iwa, I am the snack” He did a funny pose to exaggerate his point.  
“Yeah whatever, I'll get us some food lets just go”. We cleaned up the rest of the gym and made our way outside. As we were walking towards the store Oikawa had a mischievous look on his face and asked me a question. 

“ Iwa- chan, do you know what my favorite food is?”  
I look at him for a bit, trying to analyze his face to see if I'm being set up for a joke. Deciding to play along I indulge him and ask  
“ No Oikawa, what's your favorite food?”  
He smirks and leans in close to my ear to whisper “ You.” 

My eyes widen a bit and I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. Stupid Oikawa and his stupid jokes. I shove him away from me with a light punch to his arm. “ Shut up loserkawa, I knew it was gonna be a shitty joke” I grumbled with a scowl.  
He rubs his arm and laughs. Hearing that laugh turns the scowl on my face into a small smile. “ I'm sorry Iwa it's just so fun to tease you,” he says as he puts his finger to my nose does a little ‘boop’ 

I swat away his hand and keep walking “ Jeez you're so annoying” I say with a sigh.  
He turns to look right into my eyes “ And you wouldn't want me any other way” he says with a warm smile. I can feel myself staring at all his features. The way his hair is lightly blowing with the soft warm breeze, His very faint freckles that only show during the warmer months like these, and the way he cutely scrunches his nose a little when he grins. 

Beautiful. 

It's the first thing that comes to my mind. 

It's normal to give a friend a compliment but Iwaizumi is afraid that if he tells Oikawa his thoughts, it would sound like so much more than just a mere compliment. 

Did he want it to mean more? 

That, he didn't want to think about. He decided he's been staring for too long and hasn’t responded yet so he says “ Yeah...I guess I really wouldn't.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! so the first chapter posted! whoop whoop :)  
> So this was inspired by that one TikTok audio that's like " Tooru Oikawa's favorite food is ' Iwa-chan'" so it was Iwa instead of milk bread and I thought it was funny so I wanted to write it out. If anyone reads this at all THANK YOU, have a good day/night/afternoon - Saige <3


	3. The Drop

The other side erupted in cheers while I stayed frozen, not really knowing what to do. I mean what does one do when they realize this is the end? After all the team's hard work and extra practices with Oikawa...

Oikawa.

I turn to look at him fully and I half expect him to be in shambles, I hate to admit it but he was the one who tried the hardest, after all, I mean we all did but Oikawa always goes that extra mile. But when I look at him he isn't in shambles. Quite the opposite actually, His face is neutral and he stands up straight with a forced smile. " Well everyone, let's go line up," he says.

I stand there still frozen, not really understanding how he's able to look so affirmative and unwavering when our chances at nationals literally just slipped right through our fingers. I start to tear up, I'm not really one to cry, but I wanted this, I really wanted this for the team and I really wanted this for Oikawa, to get to see him shine. But that didn't happen. And that thought alone brings an immense wave of pain.

As I stand there wallowing in my own thoughts I feel a hard slam on my back. I look to my left and then I see him. " Come on Iwa let's go line up," he says in a low voice. I realize everyone is already on the line but me, so I walk along with Oikawa with my head down to hide my tears.

-

Everyone slowly filters out the locker room. Makki says some words of encouragement and praise to the team but I couldn't really focus on what he was saying, I was too caught up in my head to realize that Oikawa and I were the last ones in the room. A small sound barely makes it to my ears and takes time to register in my head.

Crying.

Someone was crying.

Oikawa was crying.

I turn to him and see that my assumption was right. Oikawa had his shirt half on, forehead pressed to the cold metal of the locker, crying. My eyes widen a bit and I stare at him for a split second before reaching out and reassuringly smoothing my hand over his back.

" I failed"...It was a quiet whisper to himself but I heard it. " I wasn't fast enough and I missed that receive and I failed" he finally breaks and starts to sob, his knees buckle under him but I caught him in time before he fell and sat down with him on the bench. He brings his face out of his hands and turns to look at me. " I'm so sorry Iwa" he sniffles and continues " I should have practiced more. All that wasted time being 'tired' and my knee hurting. I should have just pushed myself. I wasn't good enough and it's all my fault, If only I could be like Tobio-chan-"

" Oikawa stop" I interrupted his rant because when he starts to compare themselves to others, he starts to spiral. " You gave your everything into this game and you know that, please don't start to be insecure in your skills when you know you're good. Losing doesn't make you any less of the amazing setter you already are"

He's looking down with his nose scrunched, a scowl on his face, and furrowed brows. "WHY ARE YOU NOT UPSET WITH ME IWA" he shouts angrily. " WE LOST, I FAILED EVERYONE AND NOW WE WON'T ADVANCE, HOW CAN YOU SIT HERE AND NOT YELL IN MY FACE-"

" BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T LOSE ALONE" I shouted back at him. I see shock flash across his face at my response. I calm down and look him in the eyes " Stop acting like you were the only person on that court. 'I' this and 'me' that, Oikawa were a team, we all tried our best and WE all lost, not just you." his eyes start to water again, mouth still agape in shock. " You didn't fail anyone Oikawa, nobody thinks that but you, if anything I kinda feel like I failed you" I decided to be honest with him.

He looks at me with red puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks " But Iwa-chan you did so good today, you were so strong and made almost every spike" He says with a serious face that I can't help but find cute. 

I smile. " Thank you, Oikawa, but if you can see how hard I tried I need you to see how hard you tried too. You didn't fail me, not in the least" I give him a warm smile and rub small circles on this back.

He leans onto my shoulder with a sad smile and laughs a little " Don't get all sappy on me Iwa-chan"

I rest my head on his way too fluffy hair " I'm not being sappy, I just had to get that through your thick skull" I said.

He smirks " Thick skull and thick ass, double threat"

".....Get off of me" I shove him away with a blank face and he laughs. It's loud and obnoxious but it's a real genuine laugh. And that brings a smile to my face. " You're not funny"

" Then why are you smiling?" he quipped with a smug look.

" I'm not," I say, trying to relax my features more to make my point.

" Yeah you totally laughed, but let's get outta here, I'm tired and hungry," He says while stretching his back then standing up. I get all my stuff together and see he's left his phone on the floor, I pick it up and hand it to him " Don't leave this shittykawa"

Oikawa pov:

" Oh, Thanks Iwa-chan!" I take it and looked at the screen

2 new messages from: suga-chan :)

suga-chan: you played like a bitch

suga-chan: jk you were amazing and played great, good game, i love you :)

Me: oh right bc i thought the grandpa with grey hair had said sum   
Me: thank you though, that really means a lot, love you too <3

suga-chan: damn you aint have to do me like that tho :/

suga-chan: come over later?

Me: sure, i'll ask Iwa-chan to walk me

suga-chan: okay, tell your boyfriend I say hi ;)

I look up from the screen with a slight blush. Boyfriend? What Suga saying, were just friends. Although now that I think about it I wouldn't really mind dating Iwa-chan. Wait what am I saying? I don't like him like that......right?

" Oi get out of your head shittykawa, let's go" I look at him with wide eyes then relax and smile

" Coming Iwa-chan!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Super Bass by Nicki Minaj while writing this. Anyways, chapter 2 whoop whoop, sorry for all the sad shit, in the beginning, tho guys. Also Oisuga as besties rights!!! But more importantly, I wanted to make some kind of schedule for this book so I will try to have a new chapter a week :) I have school and stuff but I'm sure I can do it. Anyways thanks for reading, have a good day/ night /afternoon - Saige <3


	4. Green Nail Polish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/user/rm4qd4vbs8qp9jnrejg84v9ey/playlist/3z39UUhg6HCIUpCSH1R0vd?si=Kn4QzF25Q9ubErYft3SY3Q
> 
> ^ here's the playlist used in this chapter ;)

The hot water coming from the showerhead soothing the ache in my muscles was, as I would dramatically describe, an ‘out of body experience’. As I’m enjoying my shower, my playlist suddenly stops halfway through ‘Washing Machine Heart’.

“Who’s interrupting Mitski” I grumble. I look at my phone to see that Oikawa is calling me, I answer and put him on speaker “ What do you want shittykawa I’m showering and you're interrupting me

“ You're showering……..without me? Iwa how rude” he says and I can basically hear the smirk in his voice

“ I knew you were gonna say some stupid shit like that” I sigh

“ Anyways are you busy?” he laughs “ My mom and sister just left and I'm kinda bored, wanna come over?”

I go through a mental list of things I had to do today before responding

“Yeah sure, I’ll text you when I’m on my way”

“ Yay! See you in a few” he says as he hangs up.

I finish my shower, get dressed, and start to head over to Oikawas. It’s good that we live so close, being able to just walk over is nice. On my way over I see a cute ginger cat run from out of a bush and stop right in front of me. I stop to look down at the cat and I sigh “ Why does he always leave the door open” I pick him up and walk towards a pretty blue house and knock on the half-open door.

“ Hey, Iwa- oh! you have Leo! how’d he get out of the house?” Oikawa fully opens the door and takes his cat out of Iwaizumi’s hands.

“ Maybe it’s because you leave your door wide open shittykawa, do you know how dangerous that is? Leo could get kidnapped or worse, someone could literally break in and rob you” I explained.

He turns to his cat with a smile on his face “ Aw see Leo, he does care about me” I roll my eyes at that.

“ Yeah whatever,” I say as I walk past him into the house and head up to his room. Once he arrives he puts Leo on the bed with us and sits in front of me.

“ Do you know why I’ve asked you to come today?” He says seriously as if we were having a business meeting.

“ Because you were bored?” I answered

“ Well yes but also…” He gets up and grabs a tiny box off his desk and shows me what's inside with a cute smile on his face “ ..This!”

I look inside the box and then look back at him “Nail polish?” I was a little surprised and confused.

“ Yeah! My sister gave me some because I told her how I was still feeling down about our loss and she says the best way to feel better is with a manicure” he smiles

I stare at the nail polish for a second, I know Oikawa was still feeling bad and a little bit guilty about our loss, I mean I was there for most of his breakdowns and spirals after all, But if painting my nails with Oikawa would make some of his dark thoughts go away then I would gladly do it.

“ Sure” I smile “ Let's do it”

The way his face lights up and eyes shine let me know I’ve made the right decision. “ Okay! What color do you want?” He sits down and puts the box in between us and starts to show me an array of colors.

“ Uh….maybe a green?” I just chose my favorite color, just to play it safe. I definitely did not want that hideous orange I saw in there.

He looks at the color I chose and looks back up at me “ Iwa-chan very good choice, It looks just like the green in your eyes” He says while getting closer to my face to examine my eyes more.

Once again I feel myself flush at his statement and shove him back a little “ Uh thanks” I say awkwardly

He stares at me for a couple of moments then grins “ We should have some music while we do this!” He says as he grabs his phone and opens a playlist we’ve made for our road trip last month.

The playlist starts and Oikawa grabs my hand and starts to clean my nails with what I think is some type of nail cleanser. “ Have you ever done this before?” I ask him because I couldn't recall a time seeing Oikawa with nail polish before.

“ No, but I’ve been meaning to,” He says as he takes the wand out of the green bottle and slowly stripes it down my pinky finger. I watch him closely, the way he sticks his tongue out and furrows his brows in concentration is kinda cute. ‘What are you saying’ I think to myself ‘He’s your best friend, stop being weird, Is it weird to call him cute? I mean he is cute so wouldn't it just be considered stating the obvious-

“ Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says

My wide eyes land on his and he chuckles “ Your hands are shaking, you alright?”

I blink a couple of times before responding “ Yeah sorry just got lost in my head” I hadn't even noticed that the song changed to I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys. ‘ I love this song’ I think to myself. I smiled when Oikawa’s humming reached my ears. I watch as he’s now on the last finger of my left hand and oh wow my nails look nice. He adds the final layer, softly singing along to the song.

“ Secrets I have held in my heart” He puts on a top coat and blows a little puff to speed up the drying. “ Are harder to hide than I thought” He puts my hand down and shyly lifts his eyes to meet mine

“ Maybe I just wanna be yours”

With the looks that he's giving me, it seems that he’s staring right into my head and reading every thought I’ve ever had about him. He looks at me with pure…..want? No that can't be right….can it?

He blushes and quickly looks down and pulls out a pretty white color from the box “ Okay my turn!”

-

Oikawa’s pov:

“ I'm telling you Suga the way he looked at me was….different...and weird” I decided to call Suga as soon as Iwa-chan left and I hear him laugh through the phone.

“ Yeah that's because you confessed through a lyric” I groan and pinch the bridge of my nose

“ I didn't confess, stop saying that, and there's nothing to confess in the first place. I don't like him like that.” I pace around my room, a million thought going on in my head about what the actual hell just happened.

“ You very much confessed but okay, just stop thinking about it and go to sleep, It’s late and you know Iwa hates it when you sleep past 2 am”

I sigh knowing that Suga is right “ Okay okay fine, sorry for calling so late, I just needed to tell someone”

“ Of Course that's what friends do-”

“ Woah friends is a big word Suga-chan, I would say were more, acquaintances” I smirk

He laughs at that then says “ Hm…. companions perhaps?”

“ Compadre's if you will”

“ Partners maybe”

We laugh together for a while then calm down “ Alright compadre, I need my beauty sleep, goodnight” Suga says

“ Night companion” I smiled then hung up and put my phone to charge. I get in bed and stare up at the glow in the dark stars me and Iwa put up on my ceiling when we were younger. ‘ Would I want to confess to Iwa?’ I think to myself. ‘ I mean there's nothing to confess though, I don't like him like that…...right?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's one am, I need sleep, anyways chapter 3 whoop whoop. Iwa being a Mitski stan? yes, please. I mean these mf's have a playlist together how gayer can it get. Anyways this was cute, a calm before the storm ( heheheh). See you next chapter, have a good day/night/afternoon - Saige<3


	5. Good Enough

Friday nights were usually movie nights with Oikawa. As usual, I went over after school and we argued for 3 hours over rewatching E.T. or Godzilla: King of the Monsters. Oikawa won because I was tired of his whiny voice in my ear but we compromised that we would watch Godzilla afterward and just go to bed later.

Oikawa fell asleep halfway through E.T.

I wasn't surprised because he usually fell asleep first, but he did fall asleep during the movie he fought so hard to watch first and that makes me laugh at him a little. I look down at the chestnut-haired boy on my shoulder and analyze his features. Small huffs of air fall from his lips ‘ They look so soft’ I think to myself ‘ I wonder what they would feel like, I wonder if Oikawa’s a good kisser…..wait why did I say that I don't want to kiss Oikawa’ I feel him wrap his arms around my arm and snuggle his face into my shoulder. I stare at that peaceful look on his face for a while and think ‘ Although if Oikawa kissed me I wouldn't mind’ I brush that thought away and close my eyes, not wanting to think about kissing my best friend as he's right next to me and force myself to sleep.

-

Light filters through the curtains and leaves a soft glow on his face. I see his eyelashes flutter and he slowly escapes the lull of sleep, he looks right at me and scrunches his nose and he yawns “ Why are you looking at me like that”

I smile and put my hand on his head to ruffle his bedhead “ Because you look like a mess” This was a lie. Oikawa somehow always looked good, even with bed head and morning breath.

He smiles and lightly hits my arm “ Rude”. He stretches his back then removes the covers off of him to get out of bed. He turns to me and smirks “ Can you make breakfast while I go shower, Mom?” he says with a smug look.

I give him a blank stare “ You're not funny loserkawa”. Oikawa's parents are usually never home and since his sister has her own place somewhere far away it’s hard for her to be here, so Oikawa spends a lot of his time in an empty house. He also can't cook for shit. Iwaizumi being the good friend he is keeps Oikawa company and does little things for him like cook his meals, he often forgets to do his own laundry and clean the house so Iwa does that sometimes as well. ‘ You're just like a mom Iwa-chan’ Oikawa always says that to him, and he tells him he’s not funny every single time.

Oikawa laughs, grabs a towel from the closet, and turns to head to the bathroom “ Thanks momma” he shouts as he closes the door and turns on the shower. I roll my eyes and get out of bed to head to the kitchen to start breakfast.

As I'm chopping some bell peppers to put into the omelets I see a hand swipe one away. I turn around to scold him for eating ingredients again until I get a full look at him. Right in front of me stands Oikawa with dripping hair and only a towel around his waist. My eyes widen and I quickly look away

“What are you doing shittykawa go put some clothes on”

He notices the light blush on my face and leans closer “ Oh? Does not having clothes on make you feel things Iwaizumi?” he smirks. That little shit, he knows exactly what to do to get a rise out of me and I hate him for that.

I move away a little and scowl “ No, now stop eating the ingredients and go put clothes on”. He moves back to walk away towards his room.

“ Fine but I know you prefer me without them” he smirks and looks at me over his shoulder then walks around the corner and down the hall. I stand there staring at the place he was just standing, letting his words fully process in my head. ‘Stupid Oikawa and his stupid teasing’ I shake away dirty thoughts from my head and continue on with breakfast.

-

As we walk towards the cafe we usually hang out at on Saturdays we make subtle conversation about school and other things. And then Oikawa says something stupid.

“ Why don't you have a girlfriend Iwa-chan? You're super attractive”. My eyes widen at his words and he pauses for a moment and then continues.

“Maybe it's because you're all the way down here” he smirks and playfully does a hand swipe over my head to accentuate our height difference.

‘ What the hell’ I think to myself. I'm not going to lie, that kind of hurt my feelings. I’ve mentioned to Oikawa before how I was slightly insecure about my height ( slightly is an understatement), and here he was joking about it. I knew it was just a joke but I still couldn't shake off the anger rising inside me so I snapped back “ Why don't you have a girlfriend Oikawa? You're super attractive” I say mocking his words. “ Maybe it's because you're a self-centered jerk”.

Oikawa's playful smile drops a little at that. “ Iwa I was just joking…..do you really think I'm self centered?” he asks worriedly.

Iwaizumi, still very upset, responds with “ Yes,yes I do” in a very serious tone.

Oikawa deflects the tight feeling in his chest and covers his pained expression with false pride. “ I'm not self-centered Iwa-chan, I'm confident. It's not my problem if you can't understand the difference”. He decides to be petty and not get really upset because he doesn't like where this is going and he so badly just wants Iwa to say ‘ yeah whatever’ and they drop this.

Iwaizumi is not dropping this. Not at all. If Oikawa wants to be rude and then be petty as if he didn't start it, Iwa can be just as mean. “ Oh shut up, you're such a shallow bitch” he spits back. He had not intended on the ‘ bitch’ part, but Oikawa hurt him so he wants to make him hurt too.

Oikawa tenses up and slowly turns his head to meet Iwa’s eyes.

“Shallow……..bitch?” he repeats with a look of disbelief and offense.

“ I’m a shallow bitch, Iwaizumi?” he spits his full name out like venom.

Iwa standing his ground confirms his statement. “ Yep. you're shallow, you make everything about yourself all the time, even when we lost to Kurasuno you made that about you.”

Oikawa flinches and gives Iwa a dark look “ Iwaizumi shut up and stop, you know how I feel about that” He wants this to end so bad. He just wants to end this and enjoy their Saturday at the cafe as intended.

Iwaizumi, now even more upset because Oikawa does it once again. ‘ How I feel’ he mocks Tooru in his head. It's always about how he feels, but when it's Iwaizumis feeling in question he makes jokes. “ Oh right, how YOU aren't good enough for the team Oikawa? Hm maybe you're right. Since you're so confident in yourself and always have to be right, maybe you aren't good enough”. He regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. He wants to go back in time and slap himself for even thinking of saying that to Oikawa.

Oikawa’s eyes widen and he freezes. As he’s staring at Iwaizumi his eyes water and before he can even raise his hand to wipe them a tear slips and he lets it run down his cheek. He looks down at his baby blue converses and slowly turns around to walk back to his house. He can't be around Iwa right now.

Iwaizumi watches Oikawa leave and wants to cry. He hates himself for getting that upset over a joke, he hates himself for even bringing up nationals in the first place, and he hates himself for telling the one person who means the world to him…. That he wasn't good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laugh* yeah feel that pain. Anyways chapter 4 whoop whoop, I'm supposed to be doing work but I decided to write this instead. Also, I know I said I would so one chapter a week but I have a lot of motivation for this book so I'm gonna update whenever I finish a chapter, but ill still stick to the once-a-week promise. Happy Sunday guys ( or whatever day you read this) have a good day/ night/ afternoon - saige<3


	6. I Don't Forgive You

“ HE SAID WHAT!?” Suga screamed through the phone.

Suga’s expected Saturdays were enjoying his weekly date with Daichi at the shopping center, getting lunch at a cute cafe, then coming back to his house to eat takeout and re-watching some bad action movie that Daichi’s chosen of course.

What Suga had not expected was his best friend to call him sobbing through the phone.

As Suga listened to Oikawa try to explain what happened but choking over his words with cries he wanted nothing more than to give him love and comfort.

So that's exactly what he did.

He kissed Daichi’s cheek as he got out of the car “ Thank you for driving me, sorry for cutting our date short”. He gives him a sad smile

Daichi smiles at the kiss he was given “ It’s cool, he needs you I get it, plus there's always next Saturday, and the one after that”. Suga leans in to give him another kiss.

“ Thanks for being so understanding, drive safe and text me when you get home” He gives his hand a squeeze then turns around to walk towards the pretty blue house and rings the bell.

Oikawa opens the door with puffy eyes and a red blotchy face stained with tears, messy hair, and disheveled clothes. It was obvious he had a breakdown and it looked like a bad one. Suga didn't say anything as he tugged on Oikawa’s arm and pulled him into a hug and allowed Oikawa to cry again.

Suga leads Oikawa into his house and sits him down on the couch. “ You wanna talk about it?” he asks softly. Oikawa already explained what happened over the phone but he didn't say anything when Suga asked if he was okay.

Oikawa sighs and stares at the wall in front of them “ It just really hurts because of course I care about the team and want the best for everyone but you know how I feel about Iwa-chan, I always want to be the best for him so it did some damage when the only person you deeply care for says you're not enough for them” his voice cracks and the end and he starts to cry again.

In that moment Suga is a little jealous of how Oikawa is a pretty crier but he brushes that thought away and comforts him “ You know he didn't mean that he was just angry”

Oikawa sniffles and sighs “ Yeah that was my fault too, I knew he was insecure about it but I didn't know how bad it was, I would have never said that to him if I knew it would hurt him so badly, I'm so fucking stupid” his voice was an octave higher and cracking with every other word.

Suga brings him closer “ I think you two need to talk and sort this out, you didn't mean to offend him and I know for a fact he didn't mean to hurt you like this”. Oikawa is hesitant for a moment but then agrees with a sniffle.

“ Your right”.

Suga smiles and gives him a squeeze “ Now wanna eat ice cream and watch America's Next Top Model?”

Oikawa smiles at that and lets out a small laugh “ Yes please”

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

Iwa pov:

Iwaizumi has never hated himself more in his life and he has absolutely no idea what to do. He would call Oikawa but he knows he wouldn't even answer his call. He wants to apologize so badly but has no idea where to start. He’s all out of options and on the verge of tears so he decided to talk to his mom.

He walks downstairs and strides into the kitchen. “Hey, mom can we talk?”.

She stops washing the fruit she just bought and turns to her son. “ Of course sweetheart what's up?”

He sighs and sits in one of the chairs at the kitchen island. “ I think I messed up big time with operation O.T.” ‘ Operation O.T.’ was what he and his mother code-named whenever they talked about Tooru. When having a regular conversation they would just refer to him as Oikawa, but his mother knew he had deeper feelings for him so when wanting to talk about his crush they came up with ‘ Operation O.T’

Iwa-Mom stares at her son for a moment taking notice of his down-hearted aura. “ How so?” she asks carefully and reaches a hand to rub at his back for reassurance.

( Iwa explains everything to her)

“Oh my” she sighs

Hajime sniffles and fights back the urge to cry “ Yeah I’m a total asshole for saying that, I’m a dick for even getting that upset over a joke in the first place” he puts his head in his hands in shame.

“ Honey don't invalidate your feelings, was it right for you to retaliate back and say what you said? No, but Tooru shouldn't have said that to you in the first place. You need to learn how to handle situations like this Hajime because not everyone is going to know every aspect of your feelings. Next time tell him that making jokes about that hurts your feelings and it would save both of you all the tears” she smiles as she wipes away a stray tear from his face and cups his cheek.

“ You're right…….I just feel so bad though mom, I really went at him and that wasn’t cool” he says as his mom pulls him into a hug.

“ I know baby but what's good is that you realize your mistake and now want to go fix it, instead of ignoring the problem as a whole” she looks down and smiles at him “ I’ve raised you well, Young padawan”

He chuckles at that and hugs her back “ Thanks for being a good mom Jedi Master, I really appreciate you for being there for me all the time, with all my stupid teenage crap”

She kisses his forehead and holds him tighter “ You know I’ll always be your #1 fan”

He basks in the warm and safe feeling that is a hug from his mother and thinks back to an offhand joke Oikawa made many years ago about him being a ‘ momma's boy’.

With a delicious dinner provided by Iwa-Mom and a plan to talk to Oikawa, he lays in bed, ready to apologize and get this sorted out Monday morning. ‘ I hope Oikawa can forgive me’ he thinks as he drifts off to sleep and dreams about Tooru.

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

“ I'M SORRY” they shout at the same time. They always meet up to walk to school together so when they see each other at their usual meet place it’s the first thing they both say.

“ WAIT let me go first please” Oikawa pleads and Iwa nods his head to let him know he can speak. "Okay first I just want to say that I'm so so sorry for making that joke about you, it was super insensitive of me, especially after you’ve opened up to me about that insecurity, and then my dumbass uses it as a joke. I'm so sorry for that Iwa-chan, I really shouldn't have gotten petty and upset after I was the one who started it, that was really immature of me and I'm sorry, please forgive me” He looks at Iwa with his big glossy brown eyes and all that's in them is guilt and sadness.

Iwa stares at Oikawa for a moment before speaking “ Oikawa what you said wasn't cool, but what I said to you wasn't any better, not in the least, yeah I was mad but that doesn't excuse me not just telling you that the joke hurt and instead saying some super rude shit” he sighs “ I’m sorry for what I said, I didn't mean any of it at all, Your a great captain and you give your all in everything you do. Your way more than enough, and I'm so sorry I said otherwise”

Oikawa blinks at him for a minute then runs forward and wraps his arms around his neck in a tight hug “ I’m sorry Iwa-chan I totally forgive you, can we please never fight again?” Iwa can feel the wetness drip on his school button up and it clicks in his head that Tooru was crying.

He pulls Oikawa's face out of his neck and wipes the tears with his thumb then in a moment of boldness, gives Oikawa a light kiss on his right cheek. “ Stop crying crappykawa, I forgive you, and yes let's never fight ever again.”

Oikawa's eyes widen and his cheeks flush a light pink and Iwa thinks that a flustered Oikawa is the cutest thing he’s ever seen. Oikawa moves back to stand next to him and intertwines their hands and sway them back and forth like a child. “ Well come on Iwa-chan, don't want to be late for morning practice, what would they do without their beautiful setter?” he smiles and gives his hand a squeeze.

Iwaizumi smiles and lets Oikawa lead the way to school ‘ Yeah’ he thinks to himself ‘ What would we do without you, Oikawa’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I TRICKED YOU WITH THE TITLE HA. Did I cry while writing the scene of Iwaizumi and his mom because I wish I had that? Yes. Yes, I did. " You wish that was you huh?" Anyways chapter 5 whoop whoop, but unfortunately, my girlfriend now reads this book and won't leave me alone about it, so everyone can thank her for me discontinuing it :/   
> sorry guys - Saige <3 
> 
> \- Nah I'm joking I'm not ending it. hope you guys are enjoying the book so far, I feel like it's kinda shit so if you guys have any criticism plz plz tell me. Other than that, hope everything is well, thanks sm for reading - Saige <3


	7. Maybe

Oikawa pov:

“ Hello?” I groaned into the phone. I look up at my clock and see that it’s 3 am ‘ Why is Suga calling me so late’ I wonder.

“ Hey sorry, I know it's late but I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to the mall with me and Daichi tomorrow?” he asks

I blink groggily for a moment, letting the question register in my head before answering “ Oh yeah sure, can I bring Iwa? I love you guys but I’m not in the mood for third-wheeling”

He laughs at that “ Yeah, of course, bring your boyfriend we can make it a double date”

My eyes widen at his words “ Stop saying that you know we aren't dating, I don't even like him like that”. Even in the darkness of my room, I feel like he can see the heat in my cheeks rise.

“ When are you gonna stop lying to yourself babe, you know you have feelings for him” he sighs

I start to bite my lip in thought and then sigh accepting defeat “ Okay maybe I do like him”. Suga squeals loudly and I pull the phone away from my ears with a chuckle.

“ I KNEW IT, oh my gosh Tooru I’m so excited, how are you gonna confess?”

I freeze at his words “.....I have to confess?”

“ Obviously you dummy, how else are you two going to get together?”

I scrunch my face in disgust “ Suga I could never do that, I know I'm a confident person but the thought of rejection from Iwa would literally kill me”

Its silent for a moment too long before Suga responds “ Then get him to confess to you instead”

I think for a moment. “ What if he doesn't even like me like that, I mean we’ve been friends for so long maybe I'm the only one who developed feelings, and even if he does like me how would I make him want to confess”

“ Babe we both know he likes you back, and you being yourself made him fall for you in the first place so just keep on being annoying I guess” he laughs

“ Hey! I’ll have you know Iwa doesn't think I'm annoying, he would never kiss someone he finds annoying on the cheek,” I say with a proud huff.

“ Wait he’s kissed you on the cheek…...and you think he doesn't like you Oikawa…”. I can already see his deadpan face through the call.

“ It was just a kiss to make me stop crying because I was emotional about our fight”

“ He’s literally in love with you,” Suga says

“.......Maybe”

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Iwaizumi pov:

I woke up to a text from Oikawa saying that we're joining Suga and Daichi on a mall trip today. I didn’t really feel like doing anything today, the past week at school was extremely draining. But Suga is nice and I get along with Daichi well….and Oikawa really wanted to go, so I guess a mall trip wouldn't hurt. I got ready and drove over to Oikawa's house and ringed the bell.

Oikawa opens the door with a cute light yellow sweater, light blue jeans, and pristine white converses that he wears to school all the time. “ Hi, Iwa-chan! You look great” he gives me a cute smile, “ Leo thinks so too”. I look down at the cat in his hands that I hadn't even realized he was holding.

I gave Leo soft strokes behind his ears “ Thanks, You’ve looked better though” I smirk.

He scoffs in offense and lightly hits my shoulder “ You're such a bully” He puts Leo down on the floor and grabs his wallet off the small table near the door “ Ready to go?” I smile at the excited look on his face “ Yeah come on”. We walked towards the car and got in.

“ Are you excited? I’m so excited I haven't seen Suga in so long I’m really excited, Are you excited to see Daichi? I know you guys get along well, that’s a relief, it would be really weird if my best friend didn't like my best friend's boyfriend but you do! So we don't have to worry about that and we can all hang out together and, and-”

“ Oikawa.”

“ Yeah Iwa?”

Since the light was red I turned and gave him a soft look “ You’re rambling, relax for me okay?”

He blushes slightly and fidgets with his fingers “ Sorry I’m just really excited”

“ It’s fine you were just gonna give me a headache with how fast you were talking just now” He laughs at that and at that moment I would've done anything to hear that laugh 10 million more times.

We laughed and sang along with the radio the rest of the way there. Once we found a good spot to park the car we got out to go meet up with Suga. We walked around for a good 5 minutes and then we spotted them at the fountain in the middle of the mall. “ SUGA” Oikawa shouts and runs over to him. I catch up after him and give Suga and Daichi a quick hug.

“ Hey man, how have you been?” Daichi asks me

“ I’ve been good, schools just killing me ya know?”

He gives me a pat on the shoulder “ Yeah I totally feel you”

“ You look so nice” Oikawa compliments Suga. Suga gives him a once-over and says “ You’ve looked better”. Oikawa gives him a blank stare and a straight tight-lipped smile. “ Iwa said the same thing to me, why do you guys bully me so much”

“ It’s okay, he bullies me a lot too,” Daichi says.

“ They’re both so mean towards us” He turns to face Daichi “ ...Gemini men am I right?” Daichi laughs. “ Oh absolutely”

Suga and Iwa give unimpressed looks towards the two. “ You’re not funny,” Suga says.

Oikawa gives him a look of fake confusion “ Why did your man just laugh then?”

“ That doesn't count Daichi laughs at everything,” he says

“ Yeah, everything but your jokes….OH BRUN...Iwa up top” he held out his hand so Iwaizumi could give him a high five.

“ You’re such a dork” Iwa sighs in embarrassment “ Who even says ‘burn’ anymore?”

“ Ah shut up you love me, anyways come on guys, let's go to that new store they added here last month”

“ Oh great idea, pea brain” Suga smirks

“ I can't even say one sentence without an insult”

“ No, no you can not”

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

“ Guys were gonna go into this store real quick, meet back at the food court for lunch?” Suga says.

“ Yeah sure, Iwa, and I will just wait at the court for you” Oikawa responds. Suga nods and walks off with Daichi to some other store somewhere else. Oikawa turns toward Iwa with a smile “ You wanna get something before they join us?”

We ended up getting a small strawberry shortcake to share from some little cafe in the mall. “ Iwa, this is crazy good,” Oikawa says with a mouth full of cake.

I looked at him and cringed “ Stop eating with your mouth open shittykawa that's so gross”. He laughs and finishes chewing before responding “Sorry, the cake is just so good”.

I notice that he has some whipped cream on his top lip and some on his cheek. I sigh and reach out a hand to wipe it away “ Why do you eat like a five-year-old”. He blushes and then I realize how close I got to his face, our lips are only inches apart and some strong sense is telling me to lean in and kiss him.

“ Iwa?” he whispers while staring at my lips

“ Yeah?” answer entrapped in his eyes

“ I…” He doesn't finish his sentence but I see him lean in and start to close his eyes.

I start to lean in as well, and right when I can feel his breath on my lips

“Hey, guys-..oh...did we interrupt something?” Suga says with a laugh. Oikawa and I quickly back away from each other with super red faces

“N-No shut up” Oikawa says to Suga

Suga raises an eyebrow but sits down anyway, Daichi sitting next to Iwa on his side of the table. They all chat and have a good time until it starts to get dark. Oikawa snorts at some joke Suga said and notices that half the food court is empty. “ Oh shit guys we should go it’s almost 6”.

We walk towards the exit and say our goodbyes and I love you’s ( Suga and Oikawa) and then me and Oikawa head towards the car. “ Ah! Iwa wasn't this the best day? I had so much fun did you have fun?”

I smile and stare at him a little before answering “ Yeah today was a good day” I drove out of the parking lot and on the road leading home. I look over to see Oikawa with the window down, the wind blowing through his hair, and staring off at the sunset. It's honestly a beautiful moment that I wish I could have captured in a picture. He looks over at me and smiles “ Wanna sleepover tonight? “

I laugh and look back towards the road in front of us “ Is your mom home?”

He gives me a ‘ seriously?’ look. “ Iwa when is my mom ever home?” he says and I can tell admitting that made him a little sad. When we were little and needed a parent for back to school night it was always my mom. When his sister needed someone else to watch him it was always my mom. My mom kind of half-raised him more than his own. Me and my mom are really close but I know he doesn't have that so I try to be there for him as much as I can.

“ Yeah sorry, of course, I’ll sleepover, lemme just swing by my place to get some clothes”.

At the red light, he leans over and cups my right cheek, and kisses my left. “Thank you”

I blush and turn my face to try and hide it “ For what shittykawa?”

He laughs and leans back in his seat “ For today, for sleeping over…...for everything.”

“ Yeah yeah it's whatever,” I say as I try to look grumpy and annoyed to not give away me desperately wanting another kiss on the cheek from Oikawa

“ I love you, you know that,” He says with a playful smile.

“ Yeah yeah, I love you too” I huffed back at him. I know I like Oikawa and love him like how he loves Suga, but could I love him in the other way? Do I love him in the other way?......maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all! chapter 6 whoop whoop. Happy Thursday, hope you guys are doing well. " Saige when will they stop tip-toeing around each other and finally confess?". Great question....all in good time my friends, all in good time. Anyways thanks for reading, as always have a good day/ night/evening - Saige <3


	8. Alone

My eyes open blearily and focus in on the teal blue clock that's on the wall and it reads 12:38 pm. ‘ Damn we’ve slept for a while I think to myself. I look to my left and see Oikawa, he’s laying on his stomach, hair a mess, and half his face is squished into the pillow. I poke him a bit just to see if he would wake up but it doesn't work, I didn't really expect it too since he's always been a heavy sleeper. I slowly climbed out of bed and stretched my limbs, I knew Oikawa would be out for maybe another hour or two so I figured I could do some things around his house for him.

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

2:17 pm. I found myself sitting on the couch sipping a hot cup of coffee, I cleaned up a little...maybe a lot, and did some laundry. As I’m gazing out the window I see pale thin arms wrap around me and feel a chin rest against my shoulder.

“ Having your morning coffee, old man?” He yawns

“ It’s 2 pm sleeping beauty, this is afternoon coffee and I’m not old” I flick his forehead and he scrunches his nose with a small ‘ow’.

He yawns “ I’m still so tired, can we go back to bed?”

“ No you’ve already slept all day, are you okay? Why are you so fatigued ?”. On instinct, I get a little worried because Oikawa is shitty and he never takes care of himself, so it’s second nature by now to worry about his health.

“ I am not ‘fatigued’ Iwa” he mocks, “ I’m just really tired”

“ You do understand that that’s literally what fatigue means right?” I raise an eyebrow at him accusingly. He ignores me and tightens his hold on me, burying his face into the back of my neck. I look at the pale arms around me and inspect his wrists and hands ‘Were they always this thin?’ I think to myself. Now that I'm noticing, his arms are also very thin, which is odd because he’s extremely athletic so there should be at least slightly toned muscles.

“ Why are your arms so thin?” I ask genuinely

“ What a rude question Iwaizumi” He laughs and shrugs “ I dunno, genetics?”

It’s a very reasonable answer that sheds some of my worries away. “ Oh alright, just want to make sure that your good and like eating properly and all that...” I trail off a bit embarrassed that I care for his health this much when we're only friends

“ Awww thanks, mom, you’re so sweet and caring” He laughs and gives me a tight hug. I pull him onto the couch with me and begin to tickle him. If he wants to tease, I can tease too. I go for his stomach because I know that's his most sensitive area, He squeals in shock and then bursts out in loud laughter.

“ Ah, I-Iwa stop I’m gonna p-pee” He laughs as he's kicking at me in an attempt to get me to stop. I continue this torture and lean close to his face “ Accept defeat”

He looks at me with a huge smile “ Never.” I continue my attack on him and he screeches, tears form in his eyes and his breathing is erratic.

“ Ah! Okay okay okay you win” He laughs.

I stop and pull away from him with a proud smirk on my face “ I always do”

He looks at me with challenging eyes “ Don’t get so cocky, I’ll wipe that smirk right off your face”

I raise my eyebrow and lean in close to his face, I see his eyes widen a bit and a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. “ Oh yeah? And how exactly are you gonna do that Tooru?”

Oikawa runs his hand through Iwa’s hair and brings it down to cup his jaw. He smirks at the way Iwaizumi is starting to blush and lose his bold composure “ Wouldn't you love to know Hajime” Iwa can feel his breath on his lips and at this point, they’re breathing in each other breaths

“ Yeah, I….I really would” I whisper against his lips. The tension in the room is so thick and I feel if Oikawa doesn't kiss me in two seconds I might as well die.

“ Hmm...are you sure? You were so confident about how you win all the time, maybe I should just give up and allow you to have your victory. He says softly as he rubs his thumb over the slight stubble that's starting to form on my jaw. “ But that's not really what you want now is it Hajime?” he asks with faux innocence.

I don't really know what to say back to him. I stare at his lips and lick mine, I probably look so stupid and desperate but I can't even bring myself to care, I am desperate, I want Oikawa and I want him bad, and that I’m not ashamed to admit.

“ Oh, we’re silent now? How cute” He rubs his nose against mine, lips one inch away from connecting and it was then I decided I couldn't take it anymore.

“ Tooru can I kis-'' Before I could even finish my sentence his lips connected with mine. He pulled away after 10 seconds ( yes I was counting) with wide eyes.

Oikawa pov:

‘HOLYSHITHOLYSHIT WHY WOULD I DO THAT’ I panic a bit in my head. I don't know what just came over me but it ended with me kissing my best friend who I don't even know is gay, I don't even know if he likes me in that way, I can now kiss our friendship goodbye. He has to hate me right? I just totally kissed him out of nowhere and that was weird.

We stare at each other for what feels like eons and then…

And then he’s kissing me. Once, twice, until I’ve had a taste and realize I’ll never have enough. He’s everywhere up my back and over my arms and suddenly he’s kissing me harder, deeper, with a fervent urgent need I’ve never known before. I get the feeling of wanting to be impossibly closer to him in any and every way. I run my hand on his back and around his face, just needing to feel him, to know that he’s real and that this isn't a dream.

We pulled away from each other with heavy blush and slightly panting. It takes a minute to register in my head that I just….I just made out with my best friend. ‘WHAT THE HELL’. I panic, did he only kiss me because I kissed him first? what would this mean for our friendship? Does he even want to be friends anymore?. I feel like I'm suffocating in my thoughts and confusion so I sit there in shock.

Iwaizumi pov:

I can tell Oikawa is driving himself crazy behind those eyes so I should say something. “... We just made out” Great going captain obvious.

He gives me a blank stare “ No, really?”

I swat punch him in the arm playfully and he laughs “ Shut up shittykawa” I say with a small smile.

He gets nervous again and does that habit of picking at his fingers “ So...what does this mean?”

“ What do you mean?” I ask like an idiot, obviously, he's asking what this makes us but I don't know If I can look him in the eyes and confess right now.

“ Ah I don’t really know, Here lets Google ‘ What do to when two best friends unleashed years of tension and make out’”

I give him a deadpanned look “ Cut it with the sarcasm crappykawa”

“ You’re setting yourself up for it Iwa-chan” he smiles

“ I am not”

“ Yes you are”

“ No, I’m not”

“ Yes you are”

“ No I’m not- Stop being so childish” I scold

“ Alright, sorry mom” He smiles at me innocently. I squint my eyes at him threateningly. “ Okay sorry”

“ Listen, way too much has happened in the past hour and we need to talk about it”

Oikawa tenses slightly. He's not ready to hear how Iwa thinks he's gross and doesn't want to be friends anymore, so him being him, he deflects the question and fakes a yawn “ Hmm I'm pretty tired Iwa can we discuss this after a nap?”

Iwa looks at him for a moment and then sighs, knowing that If Oikawa is tired he won't get anywhere with the talk. “ Okay fine but as soon as you wake up, we're talking, got it?”

“ Roger that” He does a little salute and cuddles onto the couch. Iwa lays next to him and wraps his arms around his middle. Oikawa leans into him more and basks in the warm feeling he always gets when he gets hugs from Hajime.

╔═══°∴,*⋅✲══〖✰〗══✲⋅*,∴°═══╗

8:28 pm. Oikawa stares into the darkness of the room. Iwaizumi fell asleep around 6 and Oikawa’s been fake sleeping since 3. He can't help but think about how Iwaizumi will let him down. He’s upset with himself, Now he will lose his best friend over a stupid kiss.

‘ It was just a kiss’ He thinks to himself, maybe he can convince himself that it meant nothing and was just some huge prank. He knows he can't actually do that but the weight of being alone again is compelling him too. He hates being alone, He’s been alone his whole life and only really had his sister and Iwaizumi. But his sister has her own life now out in the city and she's gone all the time and now Iwaizumi is going to leave him and he’ll be all alone, all over again. He doesn't know when he starts crying but he can feel the tears fall down his cheeks. Just the thought of losing Iwaizumi makes him fall apart. He can't even imagine how bad it's going to hurt when it happens when he wakes up and wants to talk. Oikawa cries silently hoping to the Gods above that Iwa doesn't hear him and wakes up.

‘ It’s over’ He's convinced himself that 'Oikawa and Iwaizumi' is now just Oikawa, by himself once again. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!! I'm very sorry for not keeping me one chapter a week promise, thigs have been a little busy but Chapter 7 whoop whoop. Hope you guys enjoyed this one, sorry for ending it on a sad note ( heads up things don't get better lol) Anyways hope all is well, Thanks so much for reading, have a good day/ night/ afternoon - Saige<3


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